1. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved. 2. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during ...

1. Clay Aiken - Clayton Holmes Grissom 2. Akon - Aliuane Badara Thiam 3. Tori Amos - Myra Ellen Amos 4. Trey Anastasio - Ernest Joseph Anastasio III 5. Adam Ant - Stuart Leslie Goddard 6. Marc Anthony - Marco Antonio Muniz 7. Frankie Avalon - Francis Avallone 8. Baby Face - Kenneth Edmonds 9. Erykah Badu - Erica Wright 10. Ginger Baker - Peter Edward Baker 11. Syd Barrett - Roger Keith Barrett 12. ...

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 4. The message “Bad command or filename” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m certainly not going to tell you.” 5. As soon as you make a commitment ...

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it’s ...

Dear Staff It has been brought to the CEO’s attention that some individuals throughout the organisation have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues. Therefore, a list of 13 ...

“What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.” –Tom Clancy “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” –Steve Martin “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damned good.” –Woody Allen “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” –Unknown “My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, ...

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the locals, and have a pint of bitter. After a while, he finds himself in a very nice neighbourhood with big, stately residences. No pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all no public restrooms. However, ...

1) Life isn’t like a box of chocolates, it’s more like a jar of jalapeños — you never know what’s going to burn your ass. 2) I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. 3) Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it. 4) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there the first time, chances are ...

1) Life isn’t like a box of chocolates, it’s more like a jar of jalapeños — you never know what’s going to burn your ass. 2) I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. 3) Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it. 4) Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren’t there the first time, chances are ...

Plucky Brits shrug off Mytob network blitz IT staff at three major London hospitals have spent a second day struggling to restore IT systems following a major computer virus outbreak.…

A young technician and his boss board a train headed through the mountains. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other “looks.” Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a ...

“Τη ζωή δε τη μετράς με το πόσο αέρα έχεις αναπνεύσει. Τη μετράς με το πόσες φορές σου κόπηκε η ανάσα.” (via)

I'm cheap. I bought a new laptop for business, but I balk at paying $400 or more extra for software, for a laptop that cost $700. What should I download to install on my new small business laptop? Here are my top picks for no cost programs that are actually useful for the majority of small biz people. Download-able software Recognizing that many small towns or rural areas have dial-up internet service only or have ...

I attended the 2008 AUSIT Biennial National Conference in Brisbane this weekend, and was pleased to come away with some fantastic new contacts and a much clearer view of the role of translation in Australia. Until I have a chance to write up my notes, here’s a list of posts relating to other conference and translation-related events I’ve attended: Proofing, revision, editing or checking: whatever you call it, find 3 steps to help navigate these ...

So this is the second installment of our holiday recipe series, and I couldn’t be happier to share this dinner roll recipe with you! In my family, the dinner rolls at our holiday meals are never homemade. For years, my grandmother would pick them up at a local bakery, but at some point we switched to the big bag of dinner rolls from Costco. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong it. My sister and ...

IBM 只花了 350 美元的材料费就起诉了 Mark Papermaster ，这位曾在 IBM 工作 25 年的老兵上个月同意接受乔布斯的邀请加入苹果担任 iPod 和 iPhone部门的领导人。 现在如果 IBM 要继续此案，就必须花更多的钱。 上周五，美国联邦地方法院法官 Kenneth Karas 首先做出了有利于蓝色巨人的初步裁决 —— 基于 Papermaster 与 IBM 在 06 年签订的非竞争协议 —— 要求 Papermaster 立即停止与苹果的雇佣关系，并停止为苹果公司，等待进一步裁决。随后在苹果高层领导人的官方简历列表中，苹果撤去了 Papermaster 的简历信息。（详情请见：文件显示：苹果未能找到 iPod 部门理想的接班人） 本周二，法官要求 IBM 必须为此案追加费，用以担保任何可能由于之前的禁令使用不当而对 Papermaster 造成的成本和损失。联邦地方法院同意“充分慎重”地考虑这笔担保费用所需的数额，法官 Kenneth Karas 写道： “在仔细阅读了当事人向法庭提交的信件材料（该材料现已被装档并盖上公章）之后，法庭认为总计 300 万美元的担保费用可以保证支付当事人可能遭受的成本和损失，并且是适当的…… ” 本周三，Papermaster 的律师们向法庭提交了他们对 IBM 发起的诉讼的解释材料，同时还提交了他们的反诉材料。他们仅承认了一些不容置疑的事实，并否认对其他几乎任何事情知情 —— 包括 Papermaster 曾为 IBM 工作过的事实。 Papermaste 的律师们声称： 苹果和 IBM 并不是有意义的或主要的（significant or major）竞争对手，IBM 的主要业务企业服务，而苹果的主要业务是设计、制造和消息消费电子产品。 而且，即使苹果和 IBM 是竞争对手，Papermaster 在苹果所做的工作也与 IBM 没有任何关系。并且，就算有关系，IBM 的非竞争协议也是极不合理的“模糊” （能够让 ...

With the economy sliding deeper into a recession, panelists discuss whether it's time to stop throwing our money into a massive pit out in the desert.www.youtub...